Humble Inquiry

Working with a coach can be unnerving and unearth anxiety about who we are and how we are perceived. It is vulnerable work that requires a safe space and a powerful relationship.

I believe this can be achieved through authenticity, trust, and humble inquiry.

"Humble Inquiry, " described by Edgar H. Schein and Peter A. Schein, is the art of asking instead of telling.

It starts with suspending the need to be right or to "win a conversation." My goal for any conversation is to engage in a slow and carefully calibrated mutual exploration process. A process in which we develop a relationship that enables clients to explore and discover their unknown selves. This relationship makes them feel safe to reveal and explore the concealed self-doubt and self-criticism (concealed from others or themselves) that may govern their decisions and show up in their relationships.

I invite reciprocity by asking, listening, and checking for understanding. I engage with the clients at the same level, co-leading the conversation. I am committed to being mindful of how I operate and practicing suspending my biases to engage in disciplined, careful observation and genuine curiosity that helps my clients reduce their unconscious biases and meet their goals.

"Humble Inquiry" is not so much a process or method; it is an attitude that provides a safe space where my clients and I can co-create a process and pace that works for each case.

This attitude can be used in many situations, coaching being just one of them. Leaders can use this with their staff by focusing less on task orientation and the need to tell subordinates how best to do their jobs. Instead, they invite them into a conversation in which they powerfully co-create a plan. For example, instead of a manager saying, "you have to make sure you do not make the following mistakes," and unintentionally sending messages of inadequacy and a lack of control to their subordinate, they could open a conversation with "what mistakes could be made when doing this job?"

As a coach, I apply this by avoiding the word "why" which tends to elicit a defensive reaction that shuts down exploration. Instead of asking, "why are you always late" I might ask, "what contributes to this pattern of being late?"

Humble inquiry only works when the one employing it asks questions from a place of genuine curiosity, questions to answers they do not know the answer to. If the questions being asked are meant to lead someone to a specific answer, get someone in a corner, or catch them in a lie, then it will not have the intended effect of creating this exploration partnership.

Schein, E. H. & Schein, P. A. (2021). Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling, Second Edition. Berrett-Koehler Publishers.