How often have you heard the phrase "You can't teach an old dog new tricks"?
It's a classic phrase we often hear, especially when learning how to navigate today's complex digital global society.
John Fitzherbert wrote that phrase about older canines in 1523 in his "Book of Husbandry." While it may be true for older dogs, when it comes to human adults, it simply does not apply.
Sometimes we feel like we are "immune to change." We feel that nothing works no matter how much we want it and how many times we try.
The good news is that everyone can change, develop and grow, regardless of age.
When we set a goal like "lose weight," "delegate more," or "quit smoking," we are making a visible, public commitment. We often fail to realize that there are hidden commitments working against that goal that we are MORE committed to.
Governing these hidden commitments are assumptions that we unknowingly treat as truths. Maybe they were accurate at one point. Maybe believing them got us to where we are now, but to grow and develop, we have to identify them and leave them behind to start acting on the commitments we want rather than the hidden ones we are moving towards.
Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey have developed a tool called an "Immunity Map" which they walk us through in their book (cited below). As one works through creating their own immunity map, they will reveal to themselves unexpected, hidden dynamics causing their immunity to change. In conducting your own map, you will get a clearer picture of how you have one foot on the gas and one on the break; it will reveal something you didn’t know or realize: "how you systematically generate the very behaviors that prevent progress on your goal" and "how generating these behaviors helps to ward off some of your worst fears which are associated with you making the progress you hope for."
While you can use this tool yourself, it might be more effective to conduct your first map with the help of a coach. A coach can help you ensure you are digging deep enough and tapping into your fears and anxieties to have a transformational experience. They can also support you as this vulnerable work can be unnerving.
I use this tool with my clients when they express that they have had a goal for a long time and have tried to make progress but feel blocked from doing so. I may also use this when I notice my client's actions do not align with their stated goal. For example, when a client tells me one of their goals is to delegate tasks more, but when they share, they tell me about how they continue to do the work themselves for whatever reason, that's typically a sign that there is a more powerful commitment like "get the work done fast and correctly" that keeps winning over "delegate more."
Here is a template that I adapted from Kegan and Lahey, and use with my coachees; after they have done it with me once, I encourage them to use it on their own for other issues outside of our coaching engagements.
Download the editable version here:
Below is an example from Kegan and Lahey's book of a powerful and effective Immunity Map.
Kegan, R., & Lahey, L.L. (2009). Immunity to change: How to overcome it and unlock the potential in yourself and your organization. Harvard Business School Publishing.
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